It’s the second most clicked on page on most websites. That’s valuable real estate. So you need to create, design and write it to put your best company foot forward.
Can you guess what it is?
Don’t cheat.
EVEN IF YOU’RE DRIVING
Think hard. That means put your cellphone down.
Take your headphones off.
Quit texting.
Even if you’re driving!
DON’T LOOK!
Don’t look right below this sentence where the answer is.
Think really hard.
Give up?
It’s the “About, “About Us” or the COMPANY SELFIE page.
WHAT “ABOUT” IS ALL ABOUT
After reviewing a Gabazillion (that’s gabazillion with a capital “G”) of “About” pages I’ve finally figured out what the “About” page is really all about. A lot of people assume it’s supposed to tell prospects, customers, partners and passersby’s what you do, how you do it, why you’re different and why someone should buy from you.
Wrong.
IT’S ALL ABOUT ME
Not me per se, but you know what I mean. Most “About” pages proudly proclaim,
We’re the greatest … in the whole entire world, and probably the universe!
… written in concise 92-word sentences. To understand how to craft an effective and truly great “About” page you need to grasp one key underlying secret element – and it’s psychological. I’ll only use one highfalutin word to explain it.
BUMFUZZLEMENT
All the great ones have it. Bumfuzzlement. Every great “About Us” page has to leave the reader intellectually;
Bubbling with bumbuzzlement
Drowning in discombobulation
Shivering in salubrious solipsism
Do that and you will have attained Hall of Fame “All About Me Selfie” status. But how to do that?
DO IT CLEARLY
You have to clearly mystify everyone into thinking you think you’re great. But they know you don’t really think they have no idea what you really think because they think no one could think and write the way you think and write. You absolutely have to make the simple complex, the complex unknowable, and the unknowable befuddling baffling. But, you MUST do it with such pompous, profligate, proliferating panache that the reader is totally … Bumfuzzled.
UNIQUELY TALENT-LESS TALENT
I know. It sounds easy. But, deep down you know it hard. Using a plethora of useless words that have absolutely no meaning and add less-than-zero value is hard. It’s a talent, but a uniquely talentless talent.
BUT STEVE, IT’S REALLY HARD!
Yes it is. It’s hard to string together 92-word sentences. I mean, where do you start … cutting?
MY “ABOUT” PAGE
Only a professional “wordsmithing artiste” can do it. Someone like me. So, to give you a little hope, a little inspiration, I decided to use myself as an example and do an “About” selfie. I studied the master bumfuzzlers – real Renaissance Ruiners – and culled their wisdom into an “About Me” example. But, I have an ulterior motive. I’m going to use it for a new company I’ve formed to expand my Thoughtless-Leadership empire. It’s called the (drumroll) …
KAYSER MEDIA’S NEW “SQUAREBALLS ENTERTAINMENT
The Geomerically Challenged Company That Will
Challenge the Shape of Your Mind – Seriously.”
And it will (hold the applause). Ready? Here goes…
ALL ABOUT ME
Kayser Media’s Squareballs Entertainment Division is a non-leading edge, next-to-lost generation, un-scalable (but eminently sellable), not seamlessly integrated (although certainly unseemly), robusted (once or twice at most), rigidly inflexible, world class (minus the “cl”), geometrically challenged (totally true), inchoate “Thoughtless Leadership” prepubescent publishing empire dedicated to stories that challenge the shape of the mind. At least his – or anyone else that got through that sentence and thinks they know what they thought was said and can say what they thought was thought when what was said was thought.
HE ROCKS! HE SAID SO HIMSELF!
Do I rock or what?
Don’t try to crib it.
I do have an open-source version you can try out if you want – but you’ll have to pay me to template this one. It was a lot of work. I had to get in touch with my inner donkey-self to pull it off.
Both of them.
###
All About Me Image courtesy http://www.orangejelly.com.au/
How did you do? What did you do? What did you do that really mattered?
Have you even thought about it that way? Or …
WERE YOU JUST TOO BUSY?
Have you considered how precious and fleeting each moment is?
How each breath extending our existence is an amazing blessing on this blue-green magical orb called earth?
An earth that travels through space at over 1,000 miles per hour and moves around the sun at 67,000 miles per hour?
Or did you have…
TOO MUCH TO DO?
Too much to do to stop for the wonder?
I did. I know. Sad. Yes.
AND…
Have you considered that if the expansion rate of the universe was changed by one part in a trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion, faster or slower, life on earth would not exist?
TOO MANY EMAILS
Or did you have too many e-mails to think about that?
My inbox was pretty much always full. Now my mobile text message box is too. Hold on … Pinterest is pintering me. Instagram is Instagramming me. And crap… the new social media networking app Plague is plaguing me.
TOO MANY TOO MANY’S
And Twitter tweeting. Facebook Fb’ing. LinkedIn linking in. GooglePlus plussing.. StumbleUpon stumbling.
And all the while, a world of wonder, magnificent and magical, motors on – with or without us.
There are just way too many too many’s.
A REALLY BIG INCH
Did you know that if a measuring tape were stretched across the universe and segmented in one-inch increments (billions upon indescribable gazillions of inches) representing the force strengths of nature (gravity, electromagnetism, weak and strong nuclear forces) and the tape was moved by just one inch in either direction, life on earth would not exist?
TOO MANY MEANINGLESS MEETINGS
Or were you too busy to think about that because you had to prepare for another meaningless meeting?
Too busy here – too many meetings. Too many meetings that had no meaning.
DID YOU KNOW?
Do you know what would happen if the cosmological constant (the energy density of space) was not tuned to one-part in a hundred million billion billion billion billion billion (10 followed by 120 zeroes)?
Life on earth would not exist.
TOO MANY PETTY WARS
Or were you too embroiled in petty internecine political turf wars, in business and life, to consider that?
I was too embroiled.
A LIGHT YEAR
Is about 5,865,696,000,000 miles (give or take a couple thousand).
AND A LONG MINUTE
According to UNICEF, 22,000 children die each day due to poverty – that’s 21 children dying every minute, a child every three seconds. And worldwide…
10.6 million children died in 2003 before they reached the age of 5 (same as children population in France, Germany, Greece and Italy)
1.4 million die each year from lack of access to safe drinking water and adequate sanitation
EVER THINK ABOUT THAT?
22,000 children under the age of five – 21 each minute – die every day, mainly from preventable causes. And 1.4 million children a year die from lack of acces to safe drinking water? Water?
Sadly, as a credit to my self-absorbed selfish selfie inhumanity, I haven’t. That’s a truth that burns.
And,
“They die quietly in some of the poorest villages on earth, far removed from the scrutiny and the conscience of the world. Being meek and weak in life makes these dying multitudes even more invisible in death.” – Unicef
THE UNITED STATES OF SELFIES
But sadder? We who have the most don’t even think about it. We whine, complain, argue, fight, gossip. We waste time taking selfies. Selfies at home, selfies in the resturant, selfies driving the car, Selfies, selfies, selfish selfies. But we don’t really think about how blessed we are, how precious and fleeting life is. How, like 2014, is almost gone, we soon will be too.
ONE SIMPLE QUESTION
And in the end, would it’s almost over, when that last breath is staring down our windpipe how we will we answer this simple question, ‘what have you done that mattered?’
Have you thought about that? I have. And found myself wanting. But…
SO THIS IS CHRISTMAS
So fast.
Another year past.
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
2014 almost gone.
2015 soon upon.
John Lennon wrote a song about this 43 years ago called “So This Is Christmas.” The lyrics were both timely and timeless.
TIMELY
They were turbulent times. Times much like today. Differing only in the increased speed, ferocity and utter destructiveness with which things happen. These times I mean. Not then.A sad commentary … we should be better. Get better.
TIMELESS
The lyricsof “So This is Chrostmas” transcend time. Race. Creed. Sex. Religion. Age. Not many do. The words are a calling to stop, reflect, consider, act, and hope … hope for a better future.
2015, the road ahead, beckons.
Many will come.
Many will go.
You? Me?
Who ever knows?
For you … I offer best wishes. Now, listem. Think. Reflect.
SO THIS IS CHRISTMAS – WARNING – GRAPHIC IMAGES
So this is Christmas And what have you done Another year over And a new one just begun
And so this is Christmas I hope you have fun The near and the dear one The old and the young
So this is Christmas A very Merry Christmas And a happy New Year Let’s hope it’s a good one Without any fear
And so this is Christmas For weak and for strong For rich and the poor ones The world is so wrong
And so happy Christmas For black and for white For yellow and red ones Let’s stop all the fight
A very Merry Christmas And a happy New Year Let’s hope it’s a good one Without any fear
And so this is Christmas And what have we done Another year over A new one just begun
And so happy Christmas We hope you have fun The near and the dear one The old and the young
A very Merry Christmas And a happy New Year Let’s hope it’s a good one Without any fear
War is over, if you want it War is over now War is over now
Gary Hayes, an award-winning new media producer based in Australia, has developed a social media tracking application that covers the creation, use and sharing of content on the web. The results displayed are based on data culled from a range of social media sources and web sites.
CHAOTIC CACOPHONY OF CONTENT
When you look at the numbers, they stagger. But what do these explosive numbers mean though … really?
THE HARDEST PART OF WRITING
I’m a consumer and producer of content on a professional level. The numbers only tell you the raw volume. Quantity not quality. Not consistency. Persistency. Or sustainability of the content producer – which is the true measure. Over the last several years I’ve found that consistently creating quality content is the HARDEST part of using content for business marketing to generate leads and create new sales.
So given those numbers … how can you connect through the chaos? What do you need to have and do?
THE SKILL-SET
Writing as a business skill is more important and valuable than ever. How else to break through this explosive chaotic cacophony of content? Well there’s only one proven way, the first step is to realize it’s …
HARD WORK
To consistently produce average-to-good content is hard work.
HARDER WORK
To consistently produce great content? That’s really hard work. And, a lot of the time you don’t know the difference until after you publish it.
STINKER-ROO VS SUPER
Many times I thought something was killer content (usually mine), and it stank up the house (always mine).
Other times I thought something was boring, bordering on banal, and it ended up being breakthrough super (lots of reads and comments). Later, when working backwards trying to understand the difference between the banal-to-boring content vs. the breakthrough super content it was obvious.
The great performing content always delivered most, if not all, of the following … it was;
Educational – made a difference to the reader’s life of business or the business of life. Was interesting and chock full of ideas, insights, information and inspiration
Entertaining – yes, the old humorous bugaboo that corporate writing tends to avoid like the plague. Make them laugh or make them cry. Just don’t make them cry because they’re bored to tears. It’s okay to use humor.
ONE THING IT DIDN’T HAVE?
Anesthetic, stupor-inducing, put me to sleep or boil me in oil first writing. It was always devoid of corporate gobbledygook, cliches and weasel-words.
Great ideas, information, insights and inspirational stories – from you – will earn people’s honest attention.
Anesthetic writing will guarantee you’ll get lost in the explosive new reality show of content depicted in Gary Hayes’ Social Media Counts.
Featuring an Interview with Al and Laura Ries, authors of WAR IN THE BOARDROOM: Why Left-Brain Management and Right-Brain Marketing Don’t See Eye-to-Eye – and What to Do About It.
There’s a war going on in American business. It’s a war that needlessly inflicts serious economic harm on customers, employees, companies and stakeholders.
It’s a war that causes great ideas and products to vanish. To get lost in the clear fog of logical logic. A devastatingly destructive war that helps bad ideas take root and grow (albeit briefly), nurtured and justified by common sense and … logical logic.
LEFT-BRAIN MANAGEMENT vs. RIGHT-BRAIN MARKETING
What does that mean? How does it work? What to do about it? Find out in this interview with bestselling authors Al and Laura Ries.
BUT FIRST …
The markets being the shape they’re in – no jobs, no money, no hope, economic despair, destruction and disheartenment all around, I thought it’d be the perfect time to start a new company.
NO-NEW MEDIA
So I did. It’s called “Kayser’s No-New Media.” I specialize in old media – none of that highfalutin New Media Web 2.0 vaporware. My differentiator? I go back through time, find and revive great ideas from the past that have gone bad, mostly because they were ahead of their time, or were poorly executed.
KNOW-BRAINER?
See, I understand the left-brainer vs. right-brainer war mentality. I’m above all that Byzantine internecine strife. In fact I’m going to profit handsomely from it because I’m a “Know-Brainer.” I use both sides of my brain, that’s why the new business is booming. Well … at least my one ( beta account – no money has actually exchanged hands yet) account is.
My first job is for an auto manufacturer. Yes I know, not the best time to be dealing with the auto industry. But my client is getting mega bucks in new investment (from taxpayers) … what an opportunity! And this auto dealer has total faith in my new approach. We’re getting ready to rock the Auto World. There is only one catch. They asked that I run my ideas and marketing concept by some world-class Marketing & PR strategists. “No problemo,” (Sometimes I speak German to impress new clients) said I. “Piece of cake.”
RETRO-STRATEGIC BUSINESS MODEL
I decided to go for it. To go to the absolute World-class Best Marketing & PR strategists – mainly because I ‘m so sure of the concept that I’m looking for endorsements to help grow my unique, retro-strategic business model. So I contacted Al & Laura Ries, best-selling authors of “The 22 Immutable Laws of Branding,” “The Fall of Advertising & the Rise of PR,” as well as “War in the Boardroom: Why Left-Brain Management and Right-Brain Marketing Don’t See Eye-to-Eye – and What to Do About It.” They agreed to talk to me.
I’m going to trust the reader not to leak the top secret details of the project below – or crib the idea. Here’s the concept.
THE EDSEL-ZILLA!
We’re bringing back the Edsel.
Sure it was a colossal flop. Worst car of all-time. But that was only because it was way ahead of its time. It was a DaVinci-like beauty.
And the name – Edselzilla?
Car sales are all about the name. Has to be something that rolls off the tongue. Has to be memorable. Meaningful.
I crafted a crafty neologism from the words “Zilla” and “Illa,” and came up with the name, which also has a scintillating etymological iconic meaning … and could it roll off the tongue any easier?
FULL OF HIGH-TECH PRODUCTS
I made sure the engineers loaded the Edselzilla with incredibly complex and sophisticated products that most people will never use. Products like seats that vibrate and shake to the music – different beats – different shakes, depending on the music. Slick, huh? And, taking advantage of the latest in nanotechnology advancements, the Edselzilla computer sensors monitor the mood of the driver (based upon complex gluteus-maximus seat vibration algorithmic calculations) and displays it for all to see. Can you imagine? A blue-green car means a peaceful driver. A red car … road-rage candidate.
RELIABLE RELIABILITY
And reliability? We rock. What’s one of the biggest value props for a car? Reliability. The Edselzilla prototype’s been road-tested for a year. It’s better than anything on the market. Tops the Lexus and the Mercedes even.
LOW-END OF THE HIGH-END, HIGH-END OF THE LOW-END
Price Point? A mere $150,000.
We’re going to own the low-end of the high-end, the high-end of the low-end and the almost-highest end of the ultimate high-end. How? We’re going wide. On the drawing boards we have a product line wider than the Grand Canyon. Proof?
Nedselzill: This is sorta niche’ey. For all the guys named Ned Line. Probably not a big-seller at first.
Pedselzilla: The Environmentalist/Green Crowd Line- Equipped with pedals.
Qedselzilla: For the up and coming Quantum Physicist Line
Redselzilla: The only car for People with Red Hair Line
TEDselzilla: The Ted Nugent Fan Line. Comes with a zebra-skinned, M-60 machine-gun attachment on the hood, wood-burning grill on the dash (can cook up to 30 lbs of wild game – cookbook included). Coolest feature? The TEDselzilla’s doors flip up and turn into concert venue-sized speakers. Personally, this is the one I’m buying when it comes out – before Ted Nugent captures the Presidency in 2012.
Weaselzilla: For Politicians Who Raise Taxes on Everyone but Themselves Line -This one will be huge.
We’ll own the market.
Now … for the coup de grâce . A “slam dunk” as a CIA chief once said. I personally negotiated a distribution deal with one of the largest retail chains in the world. Exposure will be incredible. Edselzillas will soon rule the world. Guess who the distributor is?
WALMART!
The largest retailer in the world! The biggest audience. Take your breath away? I knew it would … that’s about it. Wait until Al and Laura hear about this. They’ll probably want to invest.
ENTER: AL & LAURA
Al Ries and Laura Ries are the dynamic father and daughter duo that have reshaped branding in the 21st century. The Fall of Advertising & the Rise of PR ruffled more than a few feathers and changed the way we look at advertising forever.
Al and Laura Ries have been profiled in The Wall Street Journal, Advertising Age, Business Week, and USA Today.
Laura is a frequent media commentator appearing on Fox News, CNN, CNBC, Fox Business, ABC News, CBS, PBS and Bloomberg.
WIN THE BOOK: For keeping the secret I disclosed above – the first 20 people that send me an e-mail at [email protected] with “TEDZILLA” in the subject line will win an autographed copy of Al & Laura’s new book.
FINALLY – THE INTERVIEW BEGINS
Steve: Thank you for taking the time to speak with me. I have a few questions about “WAR IN THE BOARDROOM,” and then want to run a real-world business branding concept by you. First … why did you write this book? What prompted it?
Al Ries (Al): 40 years of frustration. Marketing and Management are at war. In our years of consulting work, we have participated in many battles over marketing strategies and tactics. On many occasions, we have lost those battles and have the scars to prove it. The reason for the war is that marketing and management don’t understand each other. The reason they don’t understand each other is that their brains are different.
Laura Ries (Laura): Management people tend to be left brain thinkers. Left-brainers are verbal, logical and analytical. Marketing people tend to be right brain thinkers. Right-brainers are visual, intuitive and holistic. Our goal with this book is to help establish better communications between marketing people and management people. Better communications leads to better branding.
Steve: Examples of left-brainers?
Al: If you’re the CEO of a major corporation, chances are good you are a left-brainer. Management people tend to be logical, analytical thinkers. In order to make decisions, they want to be supported by facts, figures, market data, and consumer research.
Steve: Right-brainers?
Laura: Directors of Marketing. If you’re in marketing, chances are good you are a right-brainer. Marketing people tend to be intuitive, holistic thinkers. They often make decisions by “gut instinct” with little or no supporting evidence.
Steve: What about “Know-Brainers” (like me) that use both sides off the brain equally?
Al: We call that “Ambibrainerity.” It’s similar to ambidexterity. Most people who are thought to be ambidextrous (switch hitters in baseball, for example) are really left-handers who, with a great deal of practice, have taught themselves right-handed skills. Or vice versa.
Laura: Ambibrainerity is extremely rare. While you can learn to exercise the less-favored half of your brain, working both sides equally is almost impossible. Depending on how you were born, you are going to have to live your life either as a left-brainer or a right-brainer. Every occupation seems to attract people who favor one side of their brain or the other. It might take logical, analytical thinking to run a corporation, but it also takes intuitive, holistic thinking to run the marketing program for that same corporation.
Steve: Is there a common theme or thread that runs through these left-brain vs. right-brain wars?
MANAGEMENT=COMMON SENSE
Al: Yes. There’s usually a common theme to the lost battles. Management argues for ideas and concepts that are just plain “common sense,” a reflection of their left-brain thinking.
MARKETING=INTUITIVE. NOT LOGICAL
Laura: We argue for ideas and concepts that might not be logical, but intuitively we believe are ideas that will work, a reflection of our right-brain thinking.
Steve: I’m going to ask a dumb question …
Al: Who decides in these wars? The deck is stacked. Every marketing decision has to be approved by management. Guess who loses? Of course marketing loses. But more importantly, the two sides are engaged in a war that undermines companies, careers, brands, stockholders and consumers alike.
Steve: Okay … How about a real-world example of an idea battle that management won that marketing would never have thought of? Maybe something from the auto industry – since it’s a hot topic right now. (I’m prepping them for my pitch here. Subtle … isn’t it?)
THE REALITY OF PERCEPTIONS
Al: Okay. Let’s talk about the Volkswagen Phaeton. It’s a high-end luxury car, priced at $100,255, and received glowing reviews from Forbes and USA Today. Business 2.0. hailed it as, “Overwhelmingly the best value among high-end luxury cars.” Remember this. Left-brain management types deal in reality. Facts, figures, charts and numbers. Management acknowledges the importance of perception, but believes that perception is just a reflection of reality.
They think if you change the reality, you change the perception.
The reality was that the low-end car sales were being taken over by Japan and Korea. Chinese brands were poised to enter the US market. Logic dictated that Volkswagen needed to move upstream – up market, to the more profitable high-end luxury cars. It’s completely logical. Common sense. And completely wrong.
THE PERCEPTION OF REALITY
Laura: Right-brain marketing types deal in the reality of perception. What matters to marketing people are not the “facts” of a situation but what’s in the mind of the consumer, which may or may not correspond with reality. What’s in the mind of a “Volkswagen” consumer? Do you think buying a $100,000 car is?
BIG LESSON
Changing reality is easy; changing perceptions is exceedingly difficult.
Steve: And what happened?
Al: What do you think?
Steve: Well, I’ve never really heard of the Phaeton. But … it’s a Volkswagen.
Al: Exactly. It’s a Volkswagen. Not a BMW. Not a Lexus. The company couldn’t give them away. The Volkswagen Phaeton was introduced in November 2003. Since then, only 3,354 units have been sold in the United States.
Laura: Perception won out.
Steve: But what if it was the best product on the market? The absolute slickest-sweetest-superior and most reliable? Like a Mercedes. Loaded with high-tech features, bells and whistles that would awe a NASA astronaut? Wouldn’t that make a difference? Save the day?
Al: That’s your left-brain coming out. Management believes that nothing matters except the product. Building a better product is the objective of most chief executives. Wrong. Now let’s talk about “reliability.” Where do you think Mercedes Benz finished in an “Automotive Brand Reliability” survey by Consumer Reports … out of the Top 35 Brand names?
Steve: 1st or 2nd?
36TH OUT OF TOP 35!
Laura: Meredes ranked 36th in the 2007 Consumer Reports “Predicted Reliability” customer survey. Right-brainers know you don’t win with a better product. You win with a better brand.
GOING DEEP AND WIDE
Steve: What if they would have had a deep and wide product line? Be all things to all people? Wouldn’t that have turned the tide in their favor?
Al: That’s logical. Sounds like common sense.
Steve: Absolutely. (I knew I was on to something big now)
Al: Left-brain management types always favor a full line. Common sense suggests that a full line of products and services allows you to sell more than if you had a narrow line. Completely wrong. That’s why it’s so hard to win these battles. Common sense is a tough opponent.
Laura: Right-brain marketing favors a narrow line. Selling is the second step in a marketing program. The first step is building a brand in the mind. Building a brand with a full line can be difficult because you don’t stand for anything. And if you don’t stand for anything …
Steve: But if you stand for all things? You’ll surely sell something. I mean it’s just common sense.
Al: Management counts on common sense. Management approaches every situation in a sane, sensible way. Their emphasis is always on the product and the execution. Like I said … very hard to win a battle because common sense and logic … are so logical.
Laura: Marketing counts on marketing sense. The more experience a marketing person has, the more he or she realizes that common sense is usually wrong. Often the illogical, uncommon sense “marketing idea” produces the best results.
Steve: So how do you think this played out when planning for the new high-end Volkswagon Phaeton?
Al: A bunch of people sat down with reams of reports, data, facts, looked at the hard market realities they faced and came up with the logical idea of a $100,000 plus V0lkswagen. Then they had to justify it. Make it make sense. A $100,000 plus Volkswagen. Can you imagine? Why … that’d be like bringing back the Edsel and selling it at WALMART as a high-end luxury car.
DAWS MOMENT (indicates a Deep, Awkward Silence)
Laura: A right-brain marketing type would have never thought it was a good idea. In the automobile field what matters is the brand. Not the product. Perception dictates reality.
Steve: What’s a right-brainer supposed to do when dealing with left-brain management?
Al: Speak their language. Facts, figures, market share analysis. Present their intuitive ideas to a logical thinker logically, in their language.
Laura: Right-brainers have to sell their visual ideas to left-brain management types in verbal terms. Talk about product benefits and features instead of “positioning” the brand in the mind.
Steve: Thank you so much for your time. But … I have to admit something. I’ve been disingenuously disingenuous. I’ve asked most of these questions because I’ve started a new company – and we’re rolling out a new car model. I wanted to test the concept with you. Both from the left-brain and right-brain approach.
ANOTHER DAWS MOMENT
So … I went through the whole EDESLZILLA concept.
A BLACK HOLE DAWS MOMENT
Steve: So what do you think of my Edselzilla? It rocks? Too much left-brain? Right brain? Or …
HOW DEEP CAN A DAWS MOMENT GET?
I don’t know if the reader knows it or not but Al & Laura would be considered right-brain creative types. So they did what any right-brain creative type would do. Presented their answer in a visual.
THE END
About Al Ries & Laura Ries
Al & Laura been have been profiled in The Wall Street Journal, Advertising Age, Business Week, USA Today, Marketing News, Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Brandweek and countless other domestic and international magazines and newspapers. Laura is a frequent media commentator appearing on Fox News, CNN, CNBC, Fox Business, ABC News, CBS, PBS and Bloomberg.
Al and Laura are branding gurus known for delivering business insights with wit, wisdom and worldliness. They are sought after speakers around the world including the U.S. India, China, Europe and South America. So far they have worked in 60 countries and counting.
Al is Chairman and Laura is President of Ries & Ries, the marketing strategy firm they founded in 1994. Together they work with clients like Microsoft, Ford, Disney, Merck, Frito-Lay and Unilever.
Shout-out and thanks to Dr. Rick Kirschner for this wonderful review of “The Greatest Words You’ve Never Heard.”
“One of the most profoundly motivational books I’ve seen in years! These stories will help you succeed in business, raise your kids, be a better person and friend and leave a legacy. They are playful, painful and gloriously revealing of human nature and our yearning to matter. The uncovered gems are found in potent stories, profound recognitions and astonishing poetry. They are words that need to be heard!”
Dr. Rick Kirschner (http://artofchange.com/), co-author of the international bestseller, Dealing with People You Can’t Stand: How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst, and How to Click with People: The Secret to Better Relationships.
Thanks Dr K, for hanging in there and submitting to several radio interviews (http://expertaccess.cincom.com/media/dr_k.mp3) with me that included the disembodied voices of Barney the Dinosaur, Rodney Dangerfield and three deceased presidents (provided by Rick Robertson of Antic Productions)—before he got a chance to talk about his latest book. I think I might have bailed if I were him. However, Dr. Rick hung in there—a class act and true humanitarian. He embodies the essence of his bestselling book, “Dealing with People You Can’t Stand: How to Bring Out the Best of People at Their Worst.”
If you’re as unlikable and unclickable as me, or you want better relationships and a better life, get in touch with Dr. Rick.
Why do some ideas spread like wildfire while others sprout and die out?
Why do some great ideas, with world-altering potential, die on the vine–never to grace us with their fruit? When, if communicated properly, they might have turned our world upside down?
We’ll explore those questions with Dan Heath, co-author of the bestselling book, “Made to Stick.”
But first …
I pitched an idea for a new product and promotional campaign to our company Leadership Board. It’s titled …
The Terrible Tumultuous Terrestrial Total Tipover
The scene: The world is struck by an electromagnetic storm of apocalyptic proportion. It’s causing the earth to tip over on its axis. All life will be wiped out in a flash. Unimaginable horrors.
But wait!
At the last second, our product saves the day, saves the world, and sets the earth upright. All is good, all is great, and all was accomplished in less than 30 seconds. In the pitch, I promised to include a minimum of 15,789 undecipherable corporate acronyms in the promotional copy.
Pretty much routine marketing stuff.
I know. It might need a little more drama and dynamics. But the basics are there. I mean look at how many times Will Smith has pulled that idea off. He’s saved the world at least five times. Hasn’t he?
Now you have to understand interpersonal dynamics to properly interpret the board’s response. First, there was silence. Some would say deafening silence. But then, it started … slowly at first, building into a muffled crescendo.
Hailed as a creative hero
They hailed my creativity with accolades such as “malodorous,” “fetid,’ “unimaginative,” “non-stimulating,”and “provocative vomitus eruptus”(the boss speaks Latin). If you understand inter-relational personal dynamics in a business setting, you’ll know those are code words for “great” “astounding,” visionary,” – and the coup de grace, “Obama-like.” It’s hard not to get a big head when praise like that is lavished upon you, but I’ve learned to handle it.
They did ask me to refine the idea a little, and our CMO had a book he wanted me to read to help with the refinement process. He said he’d send it down later.
So, I went to work. But being creative is hard work.
I was in my groove – some would say I was “dreamstorming” – when my sixth sense tingled. You know, that feeling you get when you’re on the edge of sleep and something startles you? Like a very loud sound.
That’s when I realized the book the CMO wanted me to review …
… had arrived. And, as most corporate communications go, it had a note attached – one that was quite obtuse, not very direct, and in fact, very subtle.
“READ THIS. Then follow the advice or – YOU’RE FIRED!”
I had to contemplate its true meaning for a while. Then, understanding the nuances, I took it like a real man – a real kilt-wearing man.
Takes decisive action
Then I took action. I read. I mulled. I quickly realized the author was in complete denial of the true steps of creating great ideas. I needed to straighten him out.
So I did.
ENTER: Dan Heath, Co-Author of Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die, which has been a New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and BusinessWeek bestseller. Dan is also a columnist for Fast Company magazine. Steve: Thanks for taking the time out for this interview. You say in your book there are six key qualities that make an idea stick. What are they?
Dan: Well, what do you think they are?
Steve: Hey! I’m the one that’s supposed to be asking the questions here. The boss wants me to read and dispute your stuff before he’ll consider me for bigger opportunities. Like complete ownership of the company … if you must know.
Dan: What are your six keys? You already know mine … if you’ve read the book.
Steve: Okay then. I’ll go first. All great ideas have to be:
Complex – intricate, Byzantine in their machinations
Obvious – so people don’t have to think too hard
Nebulous – so you don’t commit to any particular result
Incredible – so people will be in awe of your creativity
Emotionless– neutral, detached, faux objective and above all …
Communicated with 382 bullet-pointed facts on 97 PowerPoint slides
Dan: Interesting. We found in our book that the six key qualities of ideas that are Made to Stick are:
Simplicity – stripping an idea to its core
Unexpectedness – able to capture and hold people’s attention
Concreteness – easily understood and remembered
Credibility – is believable
Emotional – gets people to care about the idea
Stories – told in a storytelling manner
Steve: I see great minds think alike. We might use different words and terms, but we arrive at the same conclusion. However, I would just like to point out that your six key qualities form a mnemonic. People will remember it. That means they’ll crib it from you. Don’t you want to keep that intellectual capital proprietary? You should learn from me. I keep all of my intelligence hidden.
Dan: Yes, I can see that. Arch Villain Steve: What’s the number-one barrier, the arch villain, of “sticky” ideas? What keeps great ideas (like mine) from taking off?
Dan: “The Curse of Knowledge” is the arch villain in our book. Here’s what it means: The more we know about something, the harder it is for us to imagine not knowing it. As a result, we become lousy communicators.
Think of the IT guy in the office who can’t give you a clear answer to some computer question. All the vast experience he has with computers renders him unable to fathom how little you know. He talks in jargon and abstractions that you can’t follow. We are all like the IT guy in our own domain of expertise. If we know enough to come up with an important insight, we also know too much to communicate easily with others.
That’s why knowledge can be a curse, as well as a blessing.
Steve: What is the real-life disconnect between the Answer stage and the Telling stage of great ideas?
Dan: Getting a message across has two stages: the Answer stage and the Telling Others stage.
In the Answer stage, you use your expertise to arrive at the idea you want to share. Doctors may study for a decade to get the Answer. Business managers may deliberate for months to arrive at the Answer.
Here’s the rub: The same factors that worked so well for you in the Answer stage, will backfire on you during the Telling Others stage. To get the Answer, you need expertise; you need research and deep abstract thinking. But, all of that expertise almost guarantees the Curse of Knowledge. You will come to know things that others don’t, and you’ll forget what it was like not to know those things. So when you get around to sharing the Answer, you’ll tend to communicate as if your audience was you.
The tragedy, in my judgment, is the sheer imbalance between the amount of time we spend arriving at the Answer and the amount of time we invest in Telling Others. What would you guess is the ratio? My guess is probably 50:1. That’s a mistake, because we all know that having a good idea – having the Right Answer – isn’t enough. Lots of great ideas never go anywhere. For your idea to make a difference, it’s got to stick. And that’s where our book comes in.
Steve: What is your favorite story in Made to Stick?
Dan: Probably JFK’s speech from 1961. He challenged the nation to put a man on the moon and return him safely within the decade. That was a sticky idea that motivated a nation of millions for the better part of a decade. The “man on the moon” idea captures perfectly the six principles of sticky ideas: it’s simple, unexpected, concrete, credible, emotional, and it’s a story (in miniature).
Think about the concreteness in particular. Was there a single person on the planet who didn’t understand exactly what success would look like? That’s remarkable! Are your company’s goals that clear?
Steve: I understand concrete concreteness now. I really do.
Dan: If JFK had been a modern-day politician or CEO, he’d probably have said, “Our mission is to become the international leader in the space industry, using our capacity for technological innovation to build a bridge toward humanity’s future.” We might not have ever made it to the moon.
Steve: Why has “Made to Stick” stuck?
Dan: The honest answer is, I have no clue as to why the book has stuck so well. It certainly wasn’t our prediction that we’d spend 21 months on the BusinessWeek bestseller list. We did work really hard to use our own principles when we wrote the book – we told lots of stories, we tried to make concepts concrete, etc. And, Random House did a great job introducing the book to the public. But let’s be honest, there are some really well-written books out there, with fascinating ideas in them, with great marketing campaigns behind them, that don’t sell very well. So, while I’d love to claim that the book worked because of the visionary genius of my brother, Chip, and I, it’s more accurate to say that we just got lucky.
However, it’s flattering to think we’ve passed the CMO test!
Steve: Yes. I was introduced to the “concreteness” concept of sticky ideas because the CMO liked your book.
Steve: Thanks Dan for taking the time to do this interview. Of all this, I will forever remember one key point …
So, after the interview and much contemplation, I refined my idea of the …
Terrible Tumultuous Terrestrial Total Tipover
Slightly. I added a part where we have to “put a man on the moon” using our product to save the world.
Brilliant isn’t it? I presented the idea to the company Leadership Board.
What a blast to be a guest of “The Marilu Henner” show this week on the Sun Broadcast Group radio (http://buff.ly/1mVrYoK). Marilu’s nick- name, “Perpetual Motion” should have the adjective Positive” in front of it. Was great fun, and a great opportunity to talk about the book “The Greatest Words You’ve Never Heard: True Stories of Triumph.” The topic for the show was”How to Stay Relevant in Business and Life” which is from a chapter in the book.
Marilu, along with starring in over thirty films, six Broadway shows, and two hit classic sitcoms, Taxi and Evening Shade, this five-time Golden Globe Nominee is also a New York Times Best Selling author of nine books on health, parenting, memory, and lifestyle improvement. Marilu has previously hosted and executive produced two talk shows (Marilu and Shape Up Your Life), and has guest-starred on every major talk show, earning her the title “Talk Show Guest of the Year.”As a two-time competitor on Donald Trump’s Celebrity Apprentice (Season 7, 2008) and Celebrity Apprentice All-Stars (Season 13, 2013), Marilu, making it to the Final Five, played for her favorite charities, including The Physicians’ Committee for Responsible Medicine (PCRM) and the Alzheimer’s Association. In fact, at PCRM’s 25th Anniversary Gala, she was awarded their Voice of Compassion Award.
If you want to hear a real pro on the radio … go to the Marilu Henner show.
There’s this guy named Rob. Friends call him Waldo. He’s claustrophobic, which is no big deal for most jobs. But, he’s also afraid of heights. Again, not a deal-killer for most jobs, right? Well, yes, but Waldo wanted to do something. Be a pilot. Now, being claustrophobic and afraid of heights could be an issue. A real issue.
But Waldo didn’t want to be just a pilot. He wanted to fly jets. And not just any jet, he wanted to be an F-16 jet fighter pilot. And you know what? He did it, and became a highly decorated combat jet fighter pilot. Waldo flew over 65 combat missions and 2650 hours over the skies of Iraq and Serbia.
I asked Waldo, “How is that possible? How did you overcome your fears? I’m so claustrophobic I can’t even conquer a closed MRI machine.”
Waldo said, “Steve, it’s all about FEAR. How you approach it. FEAR can stand for;
Forget
Everything
And
Run
or
Focus
Energy and
Accept
Responsibility.
I chose to Focus Energy and Accept Responsibility.” Waldo told me this before he was a New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestselling author for the book Never Fly Solo.
In my book “The Greatest Words Never Heard: True Stories of Triumph,” I thank a lot people that I have met in this bizarre journey named life. Lt. Col. Rob “Waldo” Waldman (http://www.yourwingman.com/) is one of them. A true American patriot and friend who is an inspiration to many. Take the time to meet him. Go to his website. You will be inspired. Motivated. Pumped. Or. check out Lt. Col. Rob “Waldo” Waldman on CNN with Dr. Sanjay Gupta.
“A gifted storyteller, Steve Kayser has written a book that will touch your heart and compel you to reflect deeply on your own faith, courage, and most importantly, relationships. I couldn’t put it down.”
Actually it came down to only one word. Of course there were these other words that supported that one word. Like…
Competence
Professionalism
Trust
Energetic
Stick-to-itiveness
Courteous
Fun
Those words describe the team I’m lucky to be working with for the promotion and publicity of “The Greatest Words You’ve Never Heard” book, the award-winning national PR firm EMSI. Even though those words are great … it still only boiled down to one word.
RESULTS
In May 2014 alone, EMSI delivered 13 TV interviews, 696 print placements, 163 radio interviews and 7458 new social media connections for their clients. In 2013 their clients appeared in:
8,018 print outlets
Outlets include USA Today, Associated Press, Entrepreneur Magazine, Prevention Magazine, The Huffington Post, FOX Business, Realtor.com, Toronto Star, Good Housekeeping, NJ Star Ledger, Houston Chronicle, Miami Herald, and more.
1,868 talk radio shows
Interviews were heard on WTLW-FM (The #1 station in New York City), America’s Radio News Network, WTOP-FM, Tesh Media Group, It’s Your Health Radio Network, Money Matters Network, Sirius/XM, and more.
225 TV shows
Appearances were seen on MSNBC, FOX & Friends, CNN, CNBC, Bloomberg TV and more.
Marsha contacted me about the article — because she’s always eager to learn. She wanted to know how an all foam no beer, non-boolean fuzzy logical (think about that) kilt-wearing country bumpkin like me got an interview with Al Ries. My answer included a detailed explanation of Einstein’s “General” and “Special” Theory of Relativity condensed into two words.
“I asked.”
We have been fast friends since. She took immediate pity on my low IQ (not really low, just sub 50) and has helped me out on many occasions since. Marsha is the epitome of the hard-charging, brilliant CEO with great people skills and persistently positive results. People just love her when they meet her. And love her more after her wunderteam delivers their results.
EXAMPLE?
That’s easy. I hosted a radio show on 55KRC.com in Cincinnati for a couple years and was always on the lookout for great guests. Marsha’s team killed it. Always came through, especially in a crunch. In fact, her team delivered over 40% of our total guests. High-quality, knowledgeable, charismatic … brilliant guests. And, because of Marsha, I also had the great pleasure of interviewing;
Michael Uslan, who was the executive producer of films such as Batman, Batman Returns, Batman Forever, Batman & Robin, Constantine, The Spirit, Batman Begins, and the second highest grossing film of all time, The Dark Knight. As a producer, he is one of the highest-grossing movie producers of all time, with The Dark Knight alone having already passed the $1.5 billion mark. Michael is simply “The Boy that Saved Batman, (the book is actually titled “The Boy That Loved Batman.”
Pen Densham, screenwriter, producer, and author of ‘Riding the Alligator: Strategies for a Career in Screenplay Writing … and Not Getting Eaten.” Pen Densham has written, produced, consulted and directed movies and television shows. His eclectic string of projects include Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, Backdraft, MollFlanders, Rocky II, Blown Away,Footloose as well as the TNT movie Houdini and the successful reboots of the classic TV series The Twilight Zone and The Outer Limits. He’s worked with and learned from people like Morgan Freeman, Jeff Bridges, Robin Wright, Bill Murray, Kevin Costner and Jodie Foster. The films and television series Pen Densham and his partner have produced have grossed over $1 billion. His first movie role was for his dad when he was five years old. What was it? To ride an alligator. At 5-years-old. An absolutely fascinating man with a life story that should be made into a movie. But no one would believe it.
MEET TEAM EMSI
I’m thrilled and grateful to be working with the EMSI team. Should you, your business, your book, your friends – maybe even your enemies – ever need publicity, marketing, social media help or PR … there is only one place I’d go (and did), EMSI. Here are the people behind the results — and helping get the word out for “The Greatest Words You’ve Never Heard.”
Marsha Friedman, CEO
Marsha Friedman launched EMSI in 1990. Her PR company represents corporations and experts in a wide array of fields such as business, health, food, lifestyle, politics, finance, law, sports and entertainment. Some of the more prominent names on her client roster are Sergeant’s Pet Care Products, Former National Security Advisor Robert McFarlane and the famous Motown Group, The Temptations. As a publicity expert, she has authored the book Celebritize Yourself.
As a radio personality and public speaker, Marsha can be heard weekly on her Blog Talk Radio Show, EMSI’s PR Insider. On her previous talk radio show, The Family Roundtable, Marsha enjoyed interviewing celebrities such as Tony Curtis, Ed Begley Jr., Augusten Burroughs, Faith Evans, Vicki Lawrence, Denise Jackson, Janine Turner and Rose Rock, to name a few.
Alex Hinojosa
Alex, a Texas Tech University graduate in telecommunications and marketing, is Vice President of Media Operations with an extensive background in media, specializing in radio for over 15 years. His experience includes being a national talk-show radio host and executive producer in major markets like Washington, D.C.; Atlanta, GA; Detroit, MI and Tampa, FL. Alex has also been a media coach and an instructor at the Connecticut School of Broadcasting.
Rachel Friedman
Rachel started with EMSI in the position of Print Campaign Manager, where she revolutionized the execution of their clients’ print campaigns. After fine-tuning her skills under the wing of EMSI’s CEO, she was able to push the successes of each campaign into a new realm. Aside from this, Rachel has a client-care focus second to none.
Rich Ghazarian
Rich came to EMSI with a strong broadcast media background. For 15 years, he enjoyed much success in radio and television for 15 years as an on-air personality, program director and music director in stations from California to New York City. Ghazarian has led several stations he programmed to #1 ratings. After leaving the broadcast medium, Ghazarian worked for several advertising agencies in New York City, in multiple capacities for clients: account representative, creative director, copywriter and media planning and execution. Ghazarian joined EMSI in 1998 as a Radio Campaign Manager and has been with the company ever since.
Ginny Grimsley
Ginny has been with EMSI for over seven years and has worked with clients in every phase of their publicity campaigns. As EMSI’s Print Campaign Manager, Ginny’s experience of working with print media gives her a vital perspective of knowing what interests them and how best to position our clients, so as to be included in their publications.
Harold Valentine
Harold Valentine joined EMSI with several years of editorial experience, including three years as a general assignment staff writer with The Tampa Tribune and affiliated publications. He then spent two years at an SEO firm, writing content for web pages, press releases, and articles to generate organic traffic to client websites.
The new book “The Greatest Words You’ve Never Heard: True Tales of Triumph” is available on Amazon (print) and Kindle in the US, UK, Germany, France, Italy, Spain, Japan, Australia, Brazil and India starting today. It should be available in Barnes & Noble in 2-3 weeks, on Nook, Kobo, iBooks, Scribd and Oxygen in one week. This isn’t so much a book launch as it is a semi-controlled “ooze.” Some of the new E-distribution channels turned out to be more complex to navigate than the author (which would be me) originally thought. The writing of the book was the easy part.
“Eclectic and unique, the stories in The Greatest Words You’ve Never Heard by Steven Kayser will engage your heart and inspire your soul.”– Ken Blanchard, coauthor of The One Minute Manager® and Legendary Service
“True stories of heroism, hope and heart that salute the brave victorious souls that choose to create and live lives of significance and meaning¾even if they die trying. When faced with difficult times and life- defining decisions these stories can offer solace and strength, wisdom and guidance. But more importantly, they will shake your perception of reality and offer a personal challenge that will change your life … but you won’t realize that until the very last page.” – Steven Pressfield, bestselling author of Gates of Fire, The Lion’s Gate, The Legend of Bagger Vance and the War of Art
“Wow, what a raw, powerful book. Thank you, Steve, for having the courage to show us that we serve when we dare to share challenging, heart-wrenching experiences. Anyone going through a dark night of the soul will find this book inspiring.” – Ms. Sam Horn, author of POP! and Tongue Fu!
“A gifted storyteller, Steve Kayser has written a book that will touch your heart and compel you to reflect deeply on your own faith, courage, and most importantly, relationships. I couldn’t put it down.” – Lt. Col. Rob “Waldo” Waldman, author of the New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestseller Never Fly Solo
“Steve Kayser has delivered one of the most profoundly motivational books I’ve seen in years! These stories will help you succeed in business, raise your kids, be a better person and friend and leave a legacy. They are playful, painful and gloriously revealing of human nature and our yearning to matter. The uncovered gems are found in potent stories, profound recognitions and astonishing poetry. They are words that need to be heard!” – Dr. Rick Kirschner, coauthor of the international bestseller, Dealing with People You Can’t Stand: How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst, and How to Click with People: The Secret to Better Relationships
“This book is a MUST READ! Steve Kayser has written one of the most inspirational and motivational books that I have ever read. Steve uses real-life stories to bring to life the importance of being truly engaged in order to improve the world, no matter what season of life you may be in. It is never too late. The stories in his book will inspire you to live a life of significance and will give you the wisdom to see that your best years are ahead of you, not behind you. This book will also inspire you to be a better husband, father, friend and leader by simply being a better person. –Mark Whitacre, PH.D., COO and Chief Science Officer of Cypress Systems, Inc., also former whistleblower in the historical ADM price-fixing case (“The Informant”)
“Steven Kayser has created a timeless book filled with wisdom and the kind of short stories that will stay with you long after you read them. Life is complicated and difficult, and it is comforting to have a book like Kayser’s to provide a roadmap with many nuggets of insight and plain old horse sense. It is the kind of book that should become a valuable addition to any seeker’s library.” – – Marc J. Seifer, Ph.D., author of, Wizard: The Life and Times of Nikola Tesla
SPECIAL ONE-WEEK DEAL
If you (or any of your friends you might forward this to) buy a copy of the book today through Sunday, send me an email and let me know. We will send you a bonus – the first 3 chapters of an upcoming new book called “Faith Positive in a Negative World: Redefine Your Reality and Achieve Your Spiritual Dreams” by bestselling author Dr. Joey Faucette – due out in September 2014.
BUT WAIT … THERE’S MORE!
If you buy a new print edition of this book you can buy the Kindle edition for only $2.99 (Save 70%). Print edition purchase must be sold by Amazon. (I had to throw the ‘BUT WAIT’ in there because I always wanted to play an announcer on an infomercial.)
CAN YOU SPARE A WRITER SOME TIME?
And, if you want to help a writer out – spare some time and pen a review on Amazon. It would be greatly appreciated .
“Unprovided with original learning, unformed in the habits of thinking, unskilled in the arts of composition, Steve resolved to write a book.” – Edward Gibbon
NO HE DIDN’T!
Old Edward should not have outed me like that. Eddie was either prescient, prophetic or psychic but nothing nails it better than that quote. That’s me. Hard to believe it, but I’ve finally finished a book, “The Greatest Words You’ve Never Heard: True Stories of Triumph.” For all my friends on Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin, GooglePlus and Pinterest, over the next couple months I’m going to be sharing links and stories from the new book website (http://www.stevekayser.com).
IF YOU WANT TO BAIL, THAT’S OKAY
If you want to bail on me and unsubscribe, I’m okay with that. No problem. This is just a heads-up for you. But if you don’t bail you will get a behind the scenes look at what it takes to write and publish a book – or launch any new business with direct & indirect and social media marketing.
It could get ugly.
Or it could end up being a beautiful thing.
BUT THIS IS IMPORTANT
You’ll also get to meet some amazing people that I have had the great opportunity to work, interview or write with over the years. Some truly wonderful people.
FUNDRAISING?
Although the author (that’s me – but the editors would argue the point) is already donating a portion of the proceeds to the Conductive Learning Center of Greater Cincinnati, If you have a worthy charity or fundraising endeavor that involves challenged children, soldiers or senior citizens — you’ll find a friend, ally and advocate in “The Greatest Words Never You’ve Heard,” even if we have to slip into a non-profit mode for you.
Throughout your life, you run across people that positively change your thoughts, perceptions and ideas about business and life. I’ve been blessed with the great opportunity to interview and collaborate with some of the best writers and business leaders in the world. From each, I’ve absorbed and learned life lessons.
For yearsSkip Press has freely and graciously shared his hard-earned knowledge of the art and skill of writing. He has also assisted aspiring writers in his Hollywood Writer’s Group since 1997 ( maybe longer). Skip also teaches an online screenwriting course that, last time I checked, was offered at over 1100 higher education institutions. I can assure you Skip gives way more than he ever receives. I’ve been a personal witness. I met Skip years ago and he was kind enough to say that I was the inspiration for his book ” The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Screenwriting” (The Complete Idiotpart was named after me.)
HONORABLE FIRST DONKEY
I decided to reciprocate and named Skip the Honorable First Donkey in an article called “Shooting the Donkey in the Complex Sale … Hollywood Style.” The article was a feature interview with Skip and met with great success. It was the first article I’d ever published that broke 50,000 reads – not much for some writers, but for me it was a pile. The success of that feature story with Skip inspired a column called “Shoot the Donkey” that ran for years.
Skip is a great student and teacher of writing. He’s as comfortable with Aristotle’s Poetics as he is with Mark Twain’s Pudd’n Head Wilson.
ACERBIC, ACIDIC ANARCHIST
Some people consider Skip an acerbic, acidic anarchist. I consider him just a rough-and-tumble, tell-it-like-it-is Texan living in Hollywood. That should tell you all you need to know about Skip.
Skip knows how to mentor… and inspire writers. Which is rare. When I mentioned writing my book “The Greatest Words You’ve Never Heard” to Skip a couple of years ago, he said,
“Quit talking. Do it. You talk too much.”
SETS NEW STANDARDS!
Some other great pieces of advice through the years Skip has passed on to me,
“This doesn’t just suck, It sets new standards for sucking.”“
Was this your 5th grade essay?”
“Your story arc is a flatline. As in flat and dead.”
Good stuff, no? Could you ask for any better feedback than that? I don’t think so. So, I was thrilled when he wrote an endorsement of the “Greatest Words You’ve Never Heard.”
“As long as I’ve known Steve Kayser, he’s been a connoisseur of culture and a gatherer of greatness, which he eagerly shares with everyone. Now he’s produced cultural greatness himself with this book. He digs deep and harvests diamonds. Where else would you learn that while people loved Cicero’s words, it was Demosthenes’ powerful speech that compelled them to march? Here’s your chance¾ dive in and be inspired!”
– Skip Press, author of How to Write What You Want and Sell What You Write and The Idiot’s Guide to Screenwriting
He attached a personal note about the review for me.
“Steve, you remember Sesame Street’s Opposites Book (I’m sure you still read it,)? I wrote the original review of your book then decided to change all the original adjectives to oppositites. Pretty neat exercise huh? I think you can easily translate the review if you still have your “Opposites” book.
– Skip
WANT TO LEARN WRITING FROM A PRO?
If you want to learn screen or novel writing and want the real deal, a pro that’s experienced, authentic and a straight-shooter – go talk to Skip Press. (just don’t mention you know me.) Here’s how Skip works …
Here’s how I operate – Give every person more in use value than I take from that person in cash value; that way, I am adding to the life of the world with every transaction. This is an old and invaluable principle.
– Skip Press
That’s rare.
And it’s a Press that should never be censored … or stopped.
That was advice given to me long ago on how to properly prepare and give a business presentation. Quite possibly the worst business advice I have ever received. The “watch the boss” advice, however, seems to be set in stone for new people coming up the ranks in business. There’s not a lot of time, money or effort invested in training people internally on how to give presentations. It’s sink or swim … and the sinking can get pretty ugly.
WHAT I WISH I’D LEARNED IN KINDERGARTEN – BUT NOT FROM MY BOSS
Having seen hundreds of business presentations and given a few myself, there are a few things I wish someone would have taught me in kindergarten. Seven things or “New Rules” of business presentations to be precise. I pass these on to anyone new to the dreaded gauntlet of the business presentation or any grizzled veterans who want to walk on the wild side and shake things up.
THE BASICS
Structurally there are two completely different parts to every business presentation – composition and delivery.
1. Composition – is creating, organizing, formatting and structuring the ideas, information, insights and imagery. It’s hard work and hard-thinking.
2. Performance– of the presentation is an attitude, mindset, vision and problem-solving stage performance. It’s hard work, hard-thinking, and should inform, educate and if possible, entertain.
ARE YOU A CAESAR?
Great presentations meld composition and performance seamlessly – like Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar.
Every great presentation I’ve seen states a specific problem, the implications of that problem, then provides a pathway to resolve the problem – and reap the attendant benefits. Simple as that. And as complicated as that.
OR A FLYING STINK-O-POTAMUS?
Image by Ben Heine
If a presentation doesn’t state the problem, then provide a vision of a future with that problem solved and the benefit to be expected, it will never be great … or even good.
A presentation that fails that basic but singular task is typically referred to as “A Flying Stink-o-potamus.” Sometimes the “f” is left off the word “flying.”
The seven “New Rules” I propose below mostly involve the composition part of the presentation. If you’re fairly new to business and business presentations, or just don’t want to walk in the same old corporate presentation-crapola anymore, these rules will help set you apart quickly. Might get you fired – but you will be different.
THE SEVEN “NEW RULES” OF BUSINESS PRESENTATIONS
1. NEVER COPY YOUR BOSS
Bad idea. You know why? Because he copied his boss. And his boss copiedhis boss when his boss was copying his boss back when copying included using scribes and hieroglyphics. Back when a tablets were made of stone. Copying your boss is unimaginative, sycophantic and boring. It’s easy though – and that’s why it’s still the number source of bad presentations. Still… NEVER copy your boss. Think for yourself.
* There are some exceptions to this rule – like if your boss is Ron White (the comedian).
“The average PowerPoint slide has 40 words. In some presentations, Steve Jobs has a total of seven words in 10 slides. And why are you cluttering up your slides with too many words?”
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
40 words per slide? That flabbergasted me. I’ve never seen less than 75. Carmine must not get out much.
But that rule needs updating. Use no smaller than a 50-point font and strive consistently to use a 60-point font. If you do that you’ll automatically comply with New Rule Number 3.
Try squeezing a lot of 60-point font words on one slide. You’ll see what I mean.
4. BAN ALL BULLET-POINTS
Ban it. Beat it. Bash it. Just don’t ever bullet-point it again.
This is an all-out call to ban the bullet-point. Many a good presentation has been bungled by bilious bullet-points being bandied about in a baffling badinage of balderdash. Really.
Step out of the crowd. March to the beat of your own bullet-pointless presentation. Step out of dark and into the light.
Ban the bullet-point. The world will be a better place!
5. TEXT COLOR – BE CONSISTENT
If your text starts out white – keep it white. Don’t have multiple colors of text throughout the presentation. It’s like reading a 3-D rainbow written in Sumerian eme-ĝir. It’s distracting.
Okay, this is a pet-peeve of mine, other people might not mind reading a rainbow written in Sumerian eme-ĝir, but it is distracting to me.
6. USE VIGOROUS LANGUAGE
I cribbed this from Hemmingway’s Four Rules of Writing. What is vigorous language? Action-oriented. Imperative verbs. And try not to use “ing” words (gerunds), or minimize them as much as possible.
EXAMPLE:
Instead of “creating” use “create.” Instead of “going” use “go.”
A little thing … but it will make your presentation stronger. It works.
“Those were the best rules I ever learned for the business of writing,” Hemingway said in 1940. “I’ve never forgotten them. No man with any talent, who feels and writes truly about the thing he is trying to say, can fail to write well if he abides with them.”
7. NO CORPORATE GOBBLEDYGOOK VISUALS
Do not use stock photos. Smiling faces of corporate fakeness. This is hard, I know. It’s ingrained in the business culture as much as corporate gobbledygook, which continually invades good clean page space with too many words drained of meaning. A lot of small-to-medium size companies don’t have access to great visuals so they buy into a stock photo subscription. Do the best you can with what you have.
Try to use brilliant, mysterious, evocative images that stun … and know that these can also be simple and stark, as long as they catch the eye and further the storyline of your presentation. Where can you find such images? However, if you want to check out some free to do whatever you want with images that are pretty exceptional try Unsplash.com. Others you can check out include Flickr’s Creative Commons, Comfight,Stock.xchange, and FreePixels.
8. USE THE PRINCIPLE OF CREATIVE LIMITATION
Limit yourself so you can grow. Both creatively and intellectually.
Robert McKee, Hollywood screenwriting guru and bestselling author of the book STORY, and I discussed the principle of creative limitation in “A Simple, Timeless Tale” interview.
“The PowerPoint presentation is easy, that’s why people do it. But creative limitation means instead of doing something the easy way, you do it the hard way. You take a method that is much more difficult to accomplish. As a result in your struggle as a salesman to accomplish the presentation in the form of a story, you are forcing yourself to be creative. The more difficult you make it for yourself, the more brilliant the solutions you will have to come up with or you fail. And when you come up with brilliant creative solutions to the presentation, the results for the people, for the audience, are stunning.”
FORCED FREEDOM
These “New Rules” for business presentations force you to become more creative in your presentations.
They free you to simplify.
“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” Leonardo da Vinci
They free you to beautify.
They free you to amplify.
These New Rules can be the canvas you paint your presentation on to deliver the message any audience really craves which is …
“Make me dream, Touch me, Comfort me, Amuse me, Make me laugh, Make me weep, Make me shudder, Make me think.” – Guy de Maupassant
I spoke to a group of business writers once (and there’s a reason it was only once). Not from a matter of knowing the technical craft of writing (I’m horrible at that stuff – that’s why God made editors), but the art of writing with and writing for others.
WRITERS ARE WHACKOS
Why me? I’ve written with and/or interviewed hundreds of people. I find it fascinating, enjoyable, and fun. It helps expand your mind and mindset. The person that asked me to speak knew that. And, he thought I was a whacko – which helped. He thought all writers were whackos (he was a C-Level executive).
WRITING IS A TOUGH JOB
This group of business writers I was going to speak to were fed up. Their morale was lower than a snake’s belly. They loved writing, and being writers. But their job was sucking the life, and the creative spirit. out of them.
Rarely, if ever, did their work see the light of day, get used or published. Why? Because of endless edits and input from everyone at their company. This had the effect of corporate gobbledygook-deizing the writing to the point that the words had less than zero meaning.
Writing was a tough enough job without everybody and their brother telling them how to do it. They were even embarrassed to tell anyone they were involved as the writer when their work actually got published.
THE DISASTERPIECE ROADMAP
So, knowing that background, I provided a them a quick, empathetic and realistic road-map (below) on how a writing masterpiece gets turned into a “disasterpiece.” And yes, writing is and always will be a tough job, but a different perspective might help make their job easier.
HEY! IT’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY
The writers fell out of their chairs laughing (it wasn’t supposed to be funny – just realistic).
The person that asked me to speak hasn’t spoken to me since. He was right. I am a whacko.
A BUSINESS WRITER’S LIFE
You start writing your masterpiece.
Full of hope, spirit, good thoughts, better words … inspired.
Edits on steroids – mixed with powerful laxatives.
Then additions. More additions.
Then deletions of the first additions.
Delays.
Multiple approvals.
From engineers, salespeople, marketers, and even the Bob the heating and air conditioning guy, who just happened to stop by (and he really had the best feedback). But then …
More delays.
And detailed explanations of the edited, deleted, revised edited additions.
Detailed explanations that rival the complexity of Einstein’s Special Theory of Relativity.
Finally, eventually, somehow, your newborn ends up looking like…
And you writing masterpiece?
Do I even need to tell you guys?
It’s turned into a very well-known, recognizable…
DISASTERPIECE.
So … yes.
A writers job can be tough.
I guess.
But sometimes, if you think about it, really think about it …
… It might just depend on your perspective of writing as a job.
Yes.
Perspective.
Depends on your perspective of what a tough job might be.
It’s all about perspective
Now … get back to work and turn that disasterpiece back into your masterpiece
Good writers (in business or for pleasure) focus on telling their story the best they can. They’ll sweat the smallest details and bleed tears if a page doggedly stays blank – convinced a mendacious mocking maleficence is at work. They invest time in building the skills, capabilities, tricks and techniques necessary to pursue and occasionally capture the perfect story. Pursuit of perfection, in writing, is not the enemy of good. It’s the beginning of good. But…
Social Signals Might be
Finally, one day, they get it right. Nail it. They weave an inspiring tale of overcoming adversity. Or, of standing up to evil and against all odds, triumphing. Or … just a great piece of writing that helps people solve problems – business or personal. Something that provides them with unique, helpful information, insights or ideas. Then they press the publish button and wait for the accolades. The applause. The positive feedback.
Breaking Through the Infernal Wall of Internet Infobesity
But, more often than it should, some really great stories and writers disappear into the black hole of internet infobestiy. You see, writing a good story is only half the battle these days. Maybe not even half. Distribution is at LEAST 50% of the battle now. You need to spend time and build up your social media networks. It’s no longer an option. It’s a necessity. Search engines like Google, Bing and Yahoo are factoring social signals into search engine results. How much do they matter? Those tweets, retweets, Facebook likes, shares and Google +1’s?
Social Signals GifoGraphic
Neil Patel (@neilpatel) of QuickSprout created a helpful animated infographic (gifographic) that includes some interesting information and insights for writers trying to get their work higher rankings with the search engines – so it can be more easily found, discovered or at least see the light of day. — Thanks Neil.
An anonymous informant in the U.S. Department of the HHS (HCDOP division) just leaked a top secret memo to me. Looks like there’s some deep-thinking going on in Washington about how to get out of the current healthcare reform mess. Of course I don’t want this site to become another Wiki-Wacky-Siki-Dikki Leaks but I have to pass this one on.
No editorial needed … the memo speaks for itself.
DEPARTMENT OF THE HHS (HCP Division) OFFICAL MEMO
Priority 1 Comm
522 Hart Senate Office Bldg
Washington, DC 20510
202-224-3542
In a cost-cutting & revenue enhancing move to address the sub-optimal Affordable Care rollout, and to come up with a workable solution for the perilous shortfalls in Social Security, Healthcare, Medicaid, Medicare, the EPA, the Post Office and every other government entity, the HHS will soon announce a stunningly innovative new program called …
CASH FOR CODGERS
The CASH FOR CODGERS program has been combined with a revivified and re-instituted CASH FOR CLUNKERS program.
CRUSH AND COMPACT
Anyone can participate – the program only requires that a person turn in any codger (over 55-years-old) into any local government-owned car dealership. Codgers will then be packed into perfectly good clunkers, crushed and compacted.
BAD PR POSSIBLE … IF NOT COMMUNICATED WELL
This program may impact the used car market (slightly) and organ donations (not much though, who wants a codger organ?) but is quickly projected to pay off the national debt and balance the budget … in as little as 100 years (unless the Republicans cave again and give us 200 years to pay it off).
BE ON YOUR COMMUNICATIONS “A” GAME
When communicating the details of this program please be on your “A” game and emphasize the positive points;
HELPS THE YOUNG – takes the healthcare tax burden off the young
BALANCES & ERASES – the budget & deficit
ELIMINATES – crazy codger drivers (maybe “eliminates” is not the optimal word.)
GREEN! Gets gas-guzzling clunkers off the road
JOB CREATION – for the auto industry
REDUCES HEALTHCARE COSTS – the elderly make up the preponderance of excessive healthcare costs, after all, they are old.
AVOID THE SCOUNDRELS IN THE MEDIA
Do not get in arguments with the scoundrels on the right, the middle or anyone paying taxes (working). They will portray it as Orwellian. That’s so 1984 – our opposition is laughingly bereft of good ideas or constructive criticism.
LIMBAUGH, BECK, PALIN RUBBISH!
Worse, Rush Limbaugh and Glen Beck will make it sound like a socialist political agenda. Sarah Palin, that cold-hearted demon woman from the land of ice and oil, will say it reeks of death panels. Be assured … there are NO DEATH PANELS! RUBBISH!
DON’T BELIEVE IT?
Just turn your codgers into the local car dealer and they will be crushed and compacted. No panels involved. Much more efficient than death panels.
And if they survive the crush and compact? They will be sent to the local VA Hospital. Need we say more?
EXTRA INCENTIVE
If you turn in a codger AND a clunker before the December 23, 2014 Affordable Care deadline you will be eligible for a $65,000 cash rebate and two months free healthcare premiums.
ANY IDIOT CAN BUILD A WEBSITE
However, you will have to do this through your local car dealership because the HHS website (https://www.healthcare.gov/) still isn’t working properly.
“We know, any idiot can create and launch a professional website – but we’re not just any idiots. We’re the government.“
The HHS website is projected to work smoothly by 2024 so be patient. No need to hurry. Besides we outsourced the rest of the new website to Iran (another secret government deal – but don’t tell anyone) and the Moohlas committed to a fully-fuktioning website by early 2024. This is a historical moment in international relations for the US. You might want to add that to the positive unique selling bullet-points of the Cash for Codgers program above.
SUPER EXTRA INCENTIVE FOR TEABAGGERS AND/OR LIBERTARIANS
And, if you turn in a codger, a clunker AND a TEA BAGGER (or Libertarian if approved by the local IRS office) you will get an immediate $65,000 dollar rebate (payable to “cash”), one year healthcare premium rebate, and carte blanche food stamps for 10 years.
BUT WAIT!
There’s more! Free cellphones, every month of the year for the rest of your life! (limited to unlimited minutes.)
BUT WAIT … THERE’S MORE!
If you’re actually employed, we will, in addition, throw in unemployment and disability benefits. I know that sounds stupid but …. (http://nation.foxnews.com/2013/12/12/sheila-jackson-lee-calls-unemployment-benefits-working-men-and-women) – it’s the new American dream!
Besides, working for a living is highly over-rated.
BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE MORE
And when you, yourself, turn 55-years old (official codgerdom), if you turn in a codger, a clunker, a Teabagger AND a Libertarian, you will be exempt from ALL Cash for Codgers requirements (until 60-years-old – it’s in teh small print).
More details to come. Keep on “need-to-know” basis. We don’t want this to get the shellacking the Affordable Care website took simply for not being clearly unclear.
For more information contact the Department of the Posterior at 202-224-3542.
I received an e-mail from a reader espousing the benefits and yes, even absolute necessity, of using PowerPoint slides during sales presentations (see see below).
“Steve! No way you can give a sales presentation without PowerPoint. Business people expect it … demand it! You must be a marketing bonehead!
Obviously the reader doesn’t know me.
Do I look like a marketing bonehead?
But, the vehemence and hard-core fanaticism of the reader’s comments (which I do not include here due to my civil nature) made me rethink my position.
That’s right. I might quite possibly have been wrong. As hard as that is for me to admit, it’s true. I’m flip-flopping. With a slight qualification.
If you can pass the PowerPoint Presentation Proof-of-Pudding Test below, you are one of those rarefied elites.
A superhero among PowerPoint presenters. (That includes anyone that uses PowerPoint slides to present an argument or presentation of a project, business case, or intelligent information.)
A Business Presentation Without PowerPoint Slides?
Can you really give a business presentation without PowerPoint?
Maybe.
Depends.
Probably. But only if you can pass the Proof-of-Pudding test.
Dare you take the PowerPoint Proof-of-Pudding Test?
The next presentation you give or attend, take note of what occurs after PowerPoint slide number five is swiped/swished onto the screen. Unless you really are “da man,” the Steven Spielberg of the sales presentation, 99 percent of the people in attendance will fall into one of the following disruptive descriptive categories:
1. The Mighty E-mail Master Multi-tasker (MEMM)
The MEMM reads their e-mail on desktops, smartphones, laptops, PDAs, or wireless (or all three at the same time) during your presentation. He looks up occasionally, feigns interest, may smile on the rare occasion and spews a few meaningless corporate acronyms to let you know he’s in the room, then … puts his head down, empties all e-mail folders – including sent, draft, and trash – and proceeds to the nearest online sports or horoscope web page.
*A special note on the MEMM. MEMMs tend to be the most vociferous critic of the presentation after you leave. They can clearly and concisely detail the flaws in any presentation to which they don’t pay attention.
2. The Diligent Dutiful Drone (DDD)
The DDD stares, smiles, nods, drinks, and laughs on rare occasions (keep your distance … could be flatulence) and most closely resembles a display-case manikin. What’s nice about the DDD is:
A. They smile and make you feel a little better about yourself, and
B. They have ZERO influence.
They don’t want to be there.
• You’re boring.
• You’re lying.
• They know it.
But, they’re masters of the art of being actively employed while daydreaming.
3. The Game Player (GP)
A real classic. I like him. Type “A” introverted extrovert. Flips open the laptop, occasionally tries to hide online game-playing activities, but goes to no great effort. Looks up every five to seven minutes and convincingly nods understanding of complex technology, processes and people issues. Has canned industry-analyst quotes or research that is prattled off machine-gun style in the blink of a PowerPoint swish. The GP can typically play between three to five online games at one time, within communities ranging from 2,000 to 4,000 users; answer all attacks; and defend and super-power-pack energizing, life-protecting, virtual-shield questions via Instant Messenger (IM) in less than one second. Very efficient.
4. The D*mn Data Destroyer (3-D)
The 3-D may smile occasionally and has insidiously iridescent eyes and a serial-killer smile that yells, “What lie are you telling?” The 3-D exuberantly researches each fact you use in your presentation and typically has between 800 to 1,000 search engines at his disposal intelligently configured to automate the process of destroying your credibility. His success rate is over 90 percent. Keys to look for: Sometime after PowerPoint slide #10 of your presentation, if he has failed to find a factual misstatement, his eyes turn a glowing red and some spittle or drool visibly emanate. Steer clear … 3-D is extremely dangerous.
5. The “ME-ME,” or the “I’m Much Too Important to Be Here”
The most irritating of presentation attendees, ME-ME, answers all e-mails, never looks up, never pays attention, and takes all cellphone calls while in the meeting. The only courtesy extended to you is turning around backwards to bend over while talking to the auto-repair shop on the cellphone. Sometimes ME-ME even stoops to feigning a cellphone call by testing the ringer … “Sorry, I have to take this very important, business-critical call.”
WARNING! ME-ME is just as dangerous as 3-D. To be able to pull off this offensively rude behavior, ME-ME actually has some power and/or authority. Me-Me is predisposed to not liking your presentation most probably because it wasn’t a ME-ME idea.
Therefore it stinks.
And so do you.
You recognized the categories didn’t you?
Didn’t you?
You did?
You flunked.
But that’s okay. Everyone does. It’s the nature of the business presentation.
However, have you given a PowerPoint presentation presentation without seeing one of them?
If so … YOU ARE ELIGIBLE FOR:
PASSIONATE POWERPOINT PRESENTER’S HALL OF FAME!
Currently there are no members …. you’d be the first.
If you flunked the test …
Do the PowerPoint Punt!
Throw your 58-slide, PowerPoint presentations and reverse-flash, creative swipe/swish, corporate-acronym gobbledygook out the fourth-story window.
Creating or re-designing your website means you will have to justify the costs to the CFO (or your boss). And you’re going to have to talk about things like “responsive design, speed, mobile and tablet content presentation.
BE PREPARED
Be prepared when they give you a responsive…
“What the “H” are you talking about?”
They may still think tablets are made of stone. They will ask questions. Many. Then many more. Each question will have money attached. Money you want.
WHAT THEY’RE NOT LOOKING FOR
The answers they’re looking for are notvisitors, views, page hits, comments, links, feeds or community building, it will look so cool or it will be the epitome of awesomeness.
WHAT THEY ARE LOOKING FOR
They want NUMBERS! How will this improve leads, increase sales, reduce costs or improve the business?
You have to show them the math before they will show you the money.
HERE’S THE GREAT THING ABOUT CFO’S
CFO’s are typically easy to read neuro-linguistically. Though they esteem themselves as calm, cool, poker-faced scions of logic, they usually give off subtle signals – if you know what to look for. Slight visceral indications of how you’re presentation is faring.
MAKE SURE THE MATH DOESN’T ADD UP
You need to be “creative,” in a “make it up math for the better of all humanity” type of way to sell your project. Especially one that is new technology. Analytical types like CFO’s don’t appreciate or understand creative types – except they think they waste a lot of money and time. They don’t get them. Never will. SO you have to baffle them with a badinage of irrefutable, mathematically sound illogic.
EXAMPLE (THIS WILL WORK ON ANY ANALYTICAL PERSONALITY)
Recently I helped a friend create and present a straightforward and fairly simple presentation for her CFO. It went as pretty much as expected at the start.
“We built that website in 1993. What’s the rush to change it?” It still works doesn’t it? What’s a blog again?
My friend championed her project as “the future of the web,”the intrinsic value, the quick payback, the powerful capabilities and possibilities of the new responsive design website.
Of course, being a CFO, he expected to see the numbers. The math. So, we presented the responsive design website ROI (quite effectively I might add, if I do say so myself) with this instructional video.
RESPONSIVE DESIGN ROI MATH: 28/7=13
DISTRACTIVE DESIGN
This baffling badinage of balderdash stunned the CFO.
It’s a well known psychological technique called “distraction,” that we built into the presentation. The CFO was speechless, confused. and more importantly … VULNERABLE to some real logic. We took advantage of it and quickly presented the case for the website redesign.
WHY RESPONSIVE DESIGN?
We Need Better Design
Our customers are going mobile. Heavily. Smartphones and tablets. Our mobile traffic has increased from 0% 2 years ago to 47% today. And that 47% leaves almost immediately because or website display Hoover’s (sucks).
Our buyers favor mobile applications that are crisp, clean, and quickly responsive. The small screen size and real estate and short visitor-attention span on the smartphone and tablets demand better design decisions – to help them find what they need to find – quickly. They want to get in, solve their problem and get out.
Our website has to make it easy for them to do business with us.
Content consumers dislike deeply nested features on mobile devices and tablets because they’re hard to use– and it’s spreading to websites. They don’t like to go deep-diving through extended sub-page navigation. Too hard. They prefer the EASY experience.
Scroll down, scroll up or scroll sideways. Big visuals. Less words. More meaning. Really. A lot less words. Ditch the corporate gobbledygook.
We need to put our best content up front. Not buried. Easy to see. Easy to find.
In 2010, the average number of unique screen resolutions was 97. That number is almost 250 different types of screens now. This complex variety of screen resolutions today means it’s more difficult to ensure the content presentation functionality of websites across devices. It could look good, bad, ugly … or worse.
Responsive design adjusts to whatever device our customer might use, be it a tablet, smartphone, or desktop.
Some technology analysts recommend building separate mobile and tablet sites to address this issue. We don’t. We think the best way to go is a Responsive Design website. Why? Responsive design eliminates the need for a separate mobile presence. This makes the our proposed website significantly easier to maintain – and much more efficient.
A responsive website generally loads faster—this is critical for SEO – and critical for our customers to find us and our products. Because responsive design has to account for both desktop computers and small screened limited-memory devices, the best responsive websites tend to be minimal builds with fewer interactive components. Responsive design websites are like the Road Runners of the internet. Our current website is like the Eeyore Donkey from Winnie the Pooh fame. And Eeyore is right all the time.
Google has officially said responsive Web design is its recommended configuration, and since the majority of our traffic – 80% – comes from Google, it seems like a good idea to listen to their recommendations on how to handle mobile traffic.
We were getting ready to wrap-up the presentation with the INFOGRAPHIC below. The nuts and bolts. What I consider a lot of the good stuff. But the CFO stopped us.
“Could you replay the Abbott & Costello video again? I’m going to use that on the CEO. I need a raise.
… You have your budget for the redesign.”
It reminded me of an old Mark Twain.
“Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.”
It takes a big person to admit making a social media publishing mistake.
However, I will share a way to successfully screw up your social media sharing numbers, if you’re so inclined to learn this skill.
START HERE
I decided to change my URL title structure to make it shorter and more SEO-effective. It was pretty long and included the domain name/date/category/number/ title.
SUCCESSFUL SCREW-UPS MADE EASY
WordPress offers an easy way to customize the URL in the Settings section under Permalinks. Below are the the common settings.
I decided to change mine to simply to the domain name and title of the post. Example – www.writingriffs.com/title
VOILA – YOU DID IT!
It worked beautifully. Simplied, shortened and made the URL structure more SEO-friendly.
LAW OF UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES
However, I did not take into account the social sharing numbers that had built up and were attached to each post. I use the Really Simple Share plugin app to make sharing as easy as possible. It keeps track of all the shares and displays the numbers. When I made the permalink structure change it reset all the social numbers to zero.
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Lessons Learned from Hollywood STORY Guru Robert McKee